I know that in this time where my husband is having such difficulty it is incredibly selfish to think much about myself, but sometimes I can't help it.
You see, last night I noticed that somehow I've gotten fat again. What is this shit all about?! I thought that I was having no time to eat with all the crap I've been doing, but apparently that doesn't make a difference.
My thighs have been filled with cottage cheese without my knowledge or consent. (gnomes?) That cute, sexy little crease where your butt cheek meets the back of your leg could now hold a pencil.
My husband just walked in and told me that I'm not fat. He's a super good lier, you know, coming from the family that talks about nothing.
Back to me, this is the purely selfish blog.
Anyways, so now I'm fat. Maybe not quite fat, but well on the way. I suppose it shouldn't matter now that I'm married. I mean, who am I trying to impress?
Here's the real concern. With Bobby about to have open heart surgery, we are going to have a period of a few months with no sex. This will be a huge strain. Even as sick as he is, he's always able to muster up the energy for that particular activity.
With the decreased activity (not doin' it) plus the extra chocolate cravings from not getting any, I can only expect to get fatter. I'm really not that superficial, If I get fat it isn't the end of the world.
But what if I get big enough so that I break the fragile little post- op body of my husband?! All the bouncing around will be hard enough without a 700 pound woman on top of a cracked sternum.
And forget about him being on top. That will just be to much work for him.
Maybe with my newly emerging creases and folds we can play a new game, hide the pencil. I'm sure I could get a whole box under my bosom. What do you think, America?
That's all for now. I have to go try to haggle with a man who barely speaks English to try to trade Bobby's car for a crappy but classic car that he's in love with. The things we do for love.
Comment if you know anything about car restoration.
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I know nothing of car restoration... except what I have been taught in this last 2 weeks by Drew and Jeremy, and that was pretty much just how to fix my car. But anyway. I'm positive that you are not fat, and I haven't even seen you recently. So shut up on that front. XD. I love you Pam! Tell Avery I love him too!
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