Bad Ass

I've been thinking a lot about Bobby's surgery and how our lives will change afterwards. He's going to have an external pacemaker for a while, and then he will have a giant scar. The scar might even poke up through t- shirts. I know that when people see it who don't know him, at the beach, at a pool or water park, they are going to ask what happened. I thought maybe this will be a good opportunity to mess with people. Here are some things I came up with to make him seem like a bad ass when someone asks the question: What happened to your chest?

I got stung by a stingray, just like the crocodile hunter.

I was guest starring on an episode of 'Deadliest Catch', those swordfish are bad asses.

You know that scene in 'Alien'? It can really happen!

I wanted to see if it really looked like the hearts on a valentine's day card. I was the only person who would give consent.

This is what really happens when you masturbate to much.

I got the five point heart exploding technique from 'Kill Bill', but the guy messed it up.

I had a box put in for my weed, the cops will never find it now.